A Death

I'm starting to adjust in my new life. Half of my day goes by crocheting, another half I'd for sleeping, eating and being depressed over things. I haven't seen much symptoms of pregnancy in me, except my period stopping, but I know that another body is growing inside me.

I can feel it. And I'm not precisely sure how I feel about it.

I don't use phone anymore, so there's not any way for my mom to contact me. I wonder if she made a missing diary to police. I guess she didn't, otherwise the police should have found me by now. I can't blame her exactly. She sacrificed lots of things for me, raised me for almost 18 years and I paid her back like that.

Leomord is a gentle giant. Though there's no lie that his gentle nature isn't for everyone. Sometimes he comes back home late, like really late, and I see blood stains on his gloves again. And fresh cuts on his face. I find it hard to believe that Alex is involved in those kinda work. But I don't question Leomord. I don't go to teach him about what's right or wrong. I don't have any rights to lecture him. He's providing me with shelter and food, I should be grateful to him forever.

"Good morning," I smile.

"Good morning," he smiles back.

That's literally our daily conversation. I plunge myself into working, crocheting hats and dolls and animals. Every morning he collects them in a bag and sells them in the market. I don't think that he does that by himself, he must have hired someone for that.

So I can at least say that the food my child eats, it comes from legal money. I want to keep my child away from all the darkness and monstrosity. But I don't know what I will do when they grow up. How do I tell him their father's identity? I can't. I will be the both father and mother for him. But again, I want my child to have a father figure. I don't have one doesn't mean my child has to go through the same emptiness.

But sometimes, I see this crazy and intense look in Leomord's eyes, and it scares me. A week ago, I was changing clothes and forgot to lock the door. I didn't pay much attention to it and he wasn't home either. But suddenly he came in and saw my naked body. It wasn't a stare of lust, but his eyes went dark from anger and rage, seeing the bruises in my body. And I know that from that moment on, he has been searching for Marcus.

He must be hiding somewhere or spending some vacation time. Or collecting his new victims. Either way, I don't care. I can only wish karma to get him. As I quit school and live far away from that place, I have no way to know what's going on there.

"Hungry?" Leomord reaches his palm, and I see a huge bar of chocolate on it. He's not normally home in daytime, but today is holiday.

"Thank you," I put down the needle and grab the bar. Honestly, I was craving something sweet. Gotta love how he always seems to read my mind.

As I unwrap the packet, I suddenly remember that tomorrow is my birthday. Not that it matters anymore.

"Welcome," he slowly sits on a chair beside the table, rubbing his hands together.

"Do you want to say something?" I ask softly.

"Yeah, I do have something to tell you," he runs a hand through his hair. "But I'm not sure if I should."

As much as I try to gaslight myself that I don't care, I feel my face getting pale. But I try to stay nonchalant, chewing the chocolate loudly, "So, is it about Marcus?"

"Yeah. I have a trace on him."

"I don't want you to get into trouble, Leomord. I hope you know that you're my only resort in this whole world."

He looks at me with so much care and affection, his face creating weird lines again, "I know that, Anastasia. That's why I'm going to serve justice to you."

I don't say anything. I only think that how I'm gonna face my child in the near future.

"Isn't there any man who would want to marry a single mom with a kid? I want my child to have a father."

His face grows cold, "You have me. Why are you bringing the topic of another man here?"

"Just saying," I shrug. "But you're not my husband or anything."

"Well," he moves forward, and stops when his face is inches away from me, "Do you want me to be?"

My heart skips a bit.

"Just kidding," he stands up and gives me a cheeky smile. "Kindly cook something for yourself at night. I'll be late, so I don't want you to wait for me."

"Where are you going?" I grab the back of his shirt. "Leomord, I don't really want to lose you."

"You're not going to lose me," I can tell that he's surprised by my sudden confession. He gently pats my hair for a moment, "Don't you worry, Anastasia. I'll be back safely."

And I watch him leave the room, with an aching knot in my throat.

I wait all day, not being able to put my mind on anything. When he comes back, it's almost dawn. I couldn't sleep a wink. I hear him open the main door cautiously, trying his best not to make any sound.

" Back so soon?" I mock, sitting in the darkness.

"Jesus," he curses under his breath, then turns on the light. "You didn't go to sleep?"

I examine him throughly, there's a glow in his face. And more blood stains. He's even limping. Did he hurt his leg somewhere?

Then he stares at me with so much intensity, and suddenly I realise.

"It's done," he slowly says.

Marcus is dead.