A Turmoil

I shake uncontrollably. Why is it so cold? The winter hasn't even arrived yet.

The white fur jacket I wore to school is gone already. And my jeans are torn and rusty. I look up at the dark blue sky for a moment, how it's shining with its stars, and how it's illuminating its sparkling light all over.

I can barely stand up on my legs. Yet, I keep standing, by the road, waiting for a taxi. I would have called my mom, but my phone ran outta battery.

I try to think that every human has some bad events in their life. And eventually, they overcome it. I try to gaslight myself, thinking, it will go away. Thinking, it'll be alright.

I tilt my head as I hear a car honk at that moment. I wasn't sure if this was the best decision to get in a stranger's car now, but I spread my hand to the car's direction anyway.

"Mister, can you give me a ride, please?" I speak softly.

"Sure, get in," the person replies, and as the light hits his face, I see a man in his thirties, with a military type face.

I hastily sit on the back passenger's seat, though my body is trying to betray my brain. I glance at the driver for a split second, at least he seems decent.

Seeming and being is totally two different words. Marcus seemed decent at first, too.

"Where to, Miss?" the man asks me in an unemotional, husky tone. He's even not looking at me through the front mirror.

"The Haston road, near the riverside," I reply, and miserably failing to hide the trembling in my voice.

The driver tilts his head to me for a moment, there's confusion in his bright green eyes.

"Anastasia?"

I flinch. "How do you know my name?"

He glances at my pants, "Are you alright?"

I awkwardly try to hide the torn parts and throw my bag on my lap. I also have to be careful not to stain the car's seat.

"I'm....fine. But who are you?"

The man sighs, then starts the engine. "Don't worry, Anastasia. I'll drive you home."

I shiver, trying not to break. "Really? Or are you going to do the same thing to me?"

The man shakes his head, keeping his eyes on the road, "Does he have golden hair?"

I slowly nod my head.

Then the man turns to my direction, forcing a smile on his cold face, which I can tell by that he's not used to, it kinda looks funny on him, all the weird lines and wrinkles.

"I'll take care of him, don't worry."

~

Eight hours ago

The school ended at 11am. Marcus had already texted me to wait for him in the hallway, so there I was, waiting.

I smoothed my hair quickly, wanting him to see the best of me. Is it ironic that it's the first date of my entire life? It's not that I didn't want to date someone, it's just that no one approached me before my senior year. And I had to obey my mom's rules.

Everyone craves affection and attention.

"Hey there, Ana," Marcus suddenly appeared in front of me, wearing his charming smile.

I resisted the urge to raise on my tiptoe and mess up his soft golden hair. I smiled back at him.

The school was almost empty, and I bet that was beneficial for him.

We got in his car, a famous model from the early 2000 era. I watched him drive, how one of his hand swirled the wheel, while another one changed gears sometimes. And how his veins popped up as we were taking a sharp turn, and how attractive that was.

Everything was going well, at first. His family had a massive house, as everyone knew that they were crazy rich. I stared at the objects around me, and felt that his family had very sophisticated taste.

Marcus made me white sauce pasta and it was quite delicious. I was surprised to see that a popular high school boy like him, could cook.

We sat on the sofa and finished eating. Then he suggested that we see a movie, which was a box-hit. I wasn't the quite fan of superhero type movies, but I agreed anyway.

I became nervous as he dimmed down the lights and came closer to me. Because I was feeling a bit ill after eating, there was a heavy feeling in my stomach and my head felt dizzy. So I pulled a blanket closer to my lap, then smiled shyly at him. The movie was still on the projector screen, all fighting and screaming noises. At that moment, I thought that my first kiss was going to happen. I felt nervous and awkward, thinking if he would taste pasta on my lips.

But everything went wrong suddenly.

The next few hours were a blurry mixture of pain and tears. I got on my knees and begged him numerous times, but in front of me, I could just see a monster who only knew lust.

And when he stopped, I lied motionless on the gigantic sofa, deprived of sense and cloths. He went up and wore his pants, looking completety unfazed by the massacre he just did.

"How long you gonna sleep for?" he asked me, annoyed. "Get up and go home, my parents are gonna be back from work soon."

I looked up at the wall clock, it was a quarter past seven.

"How could you do this to me, Marcus?" I whispered.

"Eh? Don't act so innocent," he chuckled, brushing his golden hair. "And the fuck you resisted so much for? I bet you enjoyed it anyway. Though I didn't know that you were a virgin. Well, not anymore. Haha."

My world just died.

~

"I don't know you. And I don't want people to know what happened to me. I'll appreciate it if you don't do anything that will harm me more."

I say that and close my eyes, too tired to breathe even.

The man keeps quiet the whole way, and I stare empty to the distance. I straighten my back as the car stops in front of my house.

The lights are still on.

And I'm beyond scared.

The man hands me a bag as I reach out to open the door. I look at him, questioning silently.

"Uh...some new clothes," he hesitates for a moment. "In case you don't want your mother to see you like this."

That's why he stopped in front of a market for a while. I take the bag, grateful, biting my lips to stop crying.

In just a mere night, I have seen both angel and demon.